fLoR*de*TeLa

Si una flor de tela tiene alguna emocion

Ha de sentirse tan vacia, insuficiente y falsa como yo.

Perdiendo la energia de petalo a petalo

Volando en continua caida

Marchitando vertiginosamente, flotando

Desvaneciendo en destellos bonitos

Mas no son del todo reales

Estrellas fugaces pintan y rasgan el cielo

Autodestruyendose en tonos indigo, rosado, y violeta

Enmarcando mi etereo ocaso mientras dejo de existir.

Quisiera entenderte, mas no es asi, acaso te niegas?

Por favor perdoname, pense que al dejarte podria sonreir

Necesito saber que quieres de mi, acaso es tu juego?

Por favor explicate o simplemente dejame ir de una vez

Quisiera entender, mas no puedo recordar aquello que tu vas a decir.

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Sub-HuMaN

I am subhuman though i act differently.

i am subzero in ongoing depletion.

i smile ’cause crying is all i’ve known

I half fit in but whole it will never be

If i lie enough i may believe as most do

that i am human and just a bit worn thru

i am the ink that neatly bleeds past the lines

i am a mistake that’s not yet corrected

i am the stain that refused to be lifted

I am the devaluing stock of a former life

i am a void of careful no things i’ve built

unable to share the weight of pain i carry

Nature loaded my gun then Nurture pulled the trigger 

Wounded, with my death foretold but i didn’t listen

 

So i painted my sky in vibrant hues

puffed white and stretched gray clouds

Surfed tidal waves, tornadoes and such

time met sand for days, weeks and years

trial of failed remedies that only half tame this

mania and depression, pure and mixed…

 

My world tumbles in derealization

fragments of memories under erasure

surreal bits and pieces of my survival

I am subhuman, half here and there

 With no happy or ending just yet.

i am an obtuse angle in a square plane.

 

 

 

 

Sc a f f O L d

I am let go. No longer held by the scaffold. No longer working ahead but on the aftermath of my own fall, sorting the debris, cleaning off the blood and bits of self. Merging with the pain that pushes and pulls and throws ’til it crushes me and I can’t breathe.

Shitty faulty scaffolding in my brain didn’t absorb or break my momentum as I stood still. The message lost in transit between cells. And so it gave way to my un-raveling of mind and Self.