I’m a highly functional insane lady. Although what exactly is this so-called high functionality?
I have an empowering weakening condition -see blog subheadline- . No, that’s NOT oxymoronic, just radical acceptance. Needless to say, I’m -along with the chaos in my head- quite a seductive character. I refuse to medicate to the point of numbness & I want to learn to embrace this – a work forever in progress. My strong desires to cease to exist get in the way of this though.
I wonder if I’m just a humanoid specimen with fluctuating value… Often being below or above the human baseline, not knowing why or how. Constantly balancing uneven weight I walk the skies of life wearing sinful pointy black stilettos.
I’m remarkably “stable in my instability” as my therapist says. Please note I do take meds- only that I refuse to be entirely sedated for the sake of a “stability” that would entail the death of my personality. Ooops I rhymed words again… Hahaha.
“Coherence in contradiction expresses the force of a desire.” Jacques Derrida