*subject to the randomly organized shifts ocurring in clusters of 3,5,7 hours… or days, but never weeks. Aka the ‘stable instability’ factor.
In the space between measures ||| Filling the chasm [ ] In between thin dashed lines – – – Tracing the gap – – In between hyper and ventilation /] A void not yet emptied /-|]*
*/Cold inertia spilling out of me over everything ’cause I am here not yet there like a stain of dark ink my tainted blood paints it all I am done not yet begun like this storm I insisted to hold still but somehow just started paralyzing me ’cause maybe it can’t be any other way. Not just yet.]
Sudden energy shift -back to where it came from out of fuckin’ nowhere with no space for readjustments not coming at me but taking that which I’d just gotten- this artificial energy unadultered now stolen in this double switch: switch.
Sudden instant fatigue –in slow motion my head feels so heavy in commotion my thoughts cluttering -overcome by inertia I collapse wide awake I must close my eyes my head hurts I must try to rest- wide awake I can’t sleep once again muscles tense my mood in suspense but my energy deplete.S lo w l y in creas i n g to 1/2 hyperness– whiplashed I am still may I please have more time before the next switch:switch?
Up-down, left-right, upside-down and viceversa. Unstable motion. Through smoke and mirrors. This figure split in odd angles. All sounds off-key. Untethered perceptions. Speed of light bending shadows. Unfinished momentum. Dangling. Increasing pressure on my neck I can’t breathe I can’t move I can’t speak the energies flow then shatter my shell again. Undone limit. I make my escape from your tightening grip. I Shift, drift and change the prism. I am the beginning, middle and/or end. In Finite Spectrum.
All & NothinG, End & BeginninG, NoN+UltrA: Ad infinitum.
Shifts I cannot stop, a subtle buzz I cannot mute: My parts rearranging in a time-space vaccuum
Alfa-Omega decentered, No-Thing is All- Things: I fall off the scaffolds of this hollow shelter
Frigid absence to the bones and Im starved, disowned of affections I am torn apart: rebuilding what is left.
Black indifference burning acid to my soul, unfair dealings I am up for auction: OOAK yet another one
Instead of birth-giver can I trade for death-bringer? Pseudo Genesis in Apocalypse: fed up of this unrest.
how Unbearable… insanely paradoxical
to find myself numb, scattered and crushed
under the growing weight of my own Existence
how Absurd… logically detached
to shut oneself down
to unexpress in disguise
under the thickening veil of one’s own seething Shame
both false and real
against the expanding mass of this…
the pervasive echo of
my own disdained Resistance