Reduction

reducing relentlessly push-&-pullin’ so restlessly/ Anti-Self Anti-Matter mine nonetheless/accountable half-mess// reduced to the irreducible now this once All-or-Nothin’/Roaming invisibly among the rest//

with no destination I walk eat & sleep alone/I hate it-&- cannot unmake it//

lest we simplify, lest I reduce as I’m being reduced in factorization//… for in subtractin’ one is losin’ bits of self, in minimizing one leaves scenes of life unreturned...///

Losing Misplacing this phasing of consciousness wears me out/// Looking restocking the cramped edgy corners of my sickened head/// Losing Mismatching dysphasing of time on my body taking toll/// Looking re-stuck-in this cycle of mini cataclysms & unforgiving hell prisms.////

Reducing to the irreducible: my life devoluting, my Self unbecoming, my world convoluting.

Reduced-&-Irreducible: turned in to a nothin’, sultry mistress to my misery disguising the sad naughtyness.

-with nothing to live for I no longer have to expect; not to mention care or self-respect— I’m some of a thing–

—restructured undoing down to my core/Anti-Self Anti-Matter not really mattering ‘ ’til I shared–

—-In this state of inter-textual action-play/ irreducible All is lost with All left to gain—-

reduced signification in factorization ad-infinitum

**Naked concoction of pervasive nothingness strippin’ seduction to distract the nonsense & lacking imagination**

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Hi-DowN-Lo

Bright flecks of light. Pulse of life in the dark. All-encompassing shadow. Spreading ink worlds apart. Shimmering glitter stars. Dots not connected. Laid in the black.

Souldisconnected– Not the Sum, but my Parts.

HallsshiftingMinddriftingBrainbreachingSelftrespassed.

Sensory overload. On the Hi-Down-Lo

mEiOsiS

Stuck head-struck by lightning fast phrases & stillborn sentences in frantic pace marking the tempo 3,2,1,4 , 2,3,4,1 of this deep pervasive unrest in uneven measures that I can’t phase out of- not in ever likely just not yet Over-saturated & too exposed.

It’s too dark & loud in my head I can’t breathe much less think  as my world vibrates! I’m half-alive almost dead reasoning  in obtuse angles though I won’t tell. Depression reverberates until I relegate it all ’cause my brain is in shreds & my soul is too far worn for wear & I can’t heal that which I can’t help in this paralytic state.

SONY DSC

Sensory overload stuck head-struck in dragging motions & sudden midway stops very moved yet I am not moving. I am not me but something else & not human sitting below the current of an inverted meiosis: in dysfunctionUnSettleD iNerTia of Manic energy stuck in our corner refusing to change form to defy Physics though it’s splittin’ my ways beyond us. I am head-struck & out of sync yet not let go

 

Home;notFamiliar

Lines Fine, Chiseled & Bold/

Shadows Lighten to Darken/

Forms Blurry then Sharper/

Shifting Angles – matter-Antimatter/

Rorschach’s Test put to shame.

& I- this mesomorph figure***

All-together LOSING shape:

Increasingly loud in my head Mingling pseudo-REALities switch Breaking frames in visceral urge in shredsWalk in fractures past the safety exitThoughts-tangle-in-this HOMEnotFamiliar.

& I: this choreographed silhouette***

Torn-apart MENDING selves quiet:

—We all know you’ve no room for me: 

Save yourself the staged welcome

almA NoCtUrNa:NiGhTbOuNd souL

el horizonte ennegrece. la Luna en mi resplandece. traza mi eterea oscuridad.

juegan, traviesos vienen y van. sus razones- pues no se.

de s a l to  en   s  a  l  t o dan y reciben placer. de poco a poco me van cAMbiaNDo.

sus motivos tendran- lo se.

de la nada al todo me traspasan. su realidad seductora de la mia.

la noche e n G R A  N  D E  c  e. su ritmo sensual me enloquece.

sumisa dominatriz, cautiva sexual. clavada por la espada en la pared.

de gIrO a GiRo me van atrapando. sus porques- me dan igual.

de ssuspiro en susspiro me llevan en A  L Z  A. sus manos me dejan  caer.

calido frio en mi piel. de orgasmo a olvido.

de abajo hacia a r R  i B A marcando el precipicio.

esquina del horizonte. crepusculo inverso.

vivaz muerte subita.

vuelo A  L T  O en caida y va amaneciendo

de violeta, rosado y azul. de naranja, dorado y blanco.

mi almA NoCtUrNa, sin refugio otra vez y mas de una

jugada en falso. como pieza descartada de ajedrez.

sera una proxima vez, eso espero.

insignificante, vacia, yaciendo entre paredes.

dolor insoportable- residuo del perdido placer.

de minuto a minuto voy muriendo

de semana en semana desmereciendo

de mes en mes marchitando

mientras tanto mi ancla enmohece- me suelta mas cada vez.

almA NoCtUrNa en febril MaNiA sufre cada deprimido amanecer