I feel your presence through your absence and I can’t help this… must accept this transient non-existence while it lasts… may I not be a hindrance in your path to my damnation… because only You-my Healer, Killer and Savior– can tend this open wound… because I need your aid in breaking resistance- in this agony I must have you, like you own me- at your convenience. I see my presence in your absence and I can’t help me- but you, my sweet Mania- can do as I need. Will you ever return to me?