dissonant break

… and hell broke … not loose or completely … and i’m here … not lost or complete …

my Self disengaged half along the way of there – though where I have no fuckin’ clue… in these once bright ruins turned gray, secure walls turned to ash spreading, not just them but me… in consistent motion – except for the inert aftermath painted in anxious hues of black i can’t describe now – this solution is certain just not yet here- in terminable blankness, surely I must be blinded by this painful weight… in numerable crowded words and images I stand not feeling my Self– in this integration… transient result of broken elements of conflicting physical,cognitive,affective states– again I am mixed in episodes, potent notes of madness in crescendo… but some non-restorative sleep broke it, in dissonance- and as much as it is hell, it is all so Mestrings of sounds in diminuendo, as images in this saturation fade, overexposed shades gone truly grayscale … cycle unending, not yet repeated… my Self defeated… and I wait, not yet in repair.