I just can’t be…

I can’t be here can’t go there unable to go any-fuckin-where unable to get my life back thus far and I’m loosing hope lacking peace because my vitality is suspended with this anxious hybrid of paranoia and irritability floating in the air thus making it within me triggering cold and hot and sweat and my heart is faster and my brain pushes against my skull as the blood courses through me with remnants of manic projects attacked by this anxiety resulting in failure on 4/6 goals for today and though I’ve been worse likehousebound except for work I can’t feel good just feel worthless which is NOT the same as BEING that though it’s pretty damn close and I hate it but can’t help it just barely and I can’t fuckin breathe cause I can’t be here can’t go there unable to go any-fuckin-where with this attacker torturing me in waves rendering my body energy-less and my intellect out of focus yet my mental speed is on overdrive as my mood is raging depressed and I hate it but can’t help it not even fake it as well anymore because I’m tired of this although I am gaining more wins as of late finally a ray of light randomly shows itself.

#1 Then, #2 Now

Green= Anxiety, Beige= Irritability

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