where is My Silver Lining? I had seen it somewhere but now it’s lost… the more I look, the more I get taunted by the pitch-blackness that plagues my existence. perhaps it escaped with the rest of me in grandiose version of hide and seek- but either way I hope not forever. at least in time before I get deserted by My Self, a process rapidly set in motion without my approval although I was sitting there.

My Silver Lining is all playful shadows & light: iridescent, a type of euphoria intricately laced by mania, an effervescent seductive trance that never lasts long enough for me to really let go. 

disoriented, my eyes adjust though not really from sparkly hues to depressed pitch-black or lethargic darkest of grays or sometimes though rarely a suicidal shade of darkest indigo blue. but I compulsively still seek My sexy Silver Lining though will I ever find it?  running empty of hope, with a bitterness that corrodes me in waves of anxiety and rage but still somehow functioning nonetheless- except if I dare to be a little myself: so I lie and most believe it. story of my life.