there is NO FEELING BETTER – beauty & darkness.

just a gradient from different shades of worse. some darker, some lighter, but worse all the same. dispenser of fake smiles adorned by artificial laughter I am.

a facade held together tear by tear. a lifeless puppet- my strings pulled by Mania, stretched thin to break in Depression’s filthy hand so immaculate, faint death.

from frantic motion in alternate reality cut off into dissociation. on this limbo no longer human, but an element that permeates everything you don’t see.

in depersonalization i don’t feel myself- just this fatal descent that changes speed but never ends or hasn’t since two 1,000 + eight. enigmatic fantasy heroine in me can’t save myself- where am I?