*Not nearly enough to convey this sexy, life consuming horror thrill rollercoaster ride.

DarkInMania: I sit dead quietly, layer of paranoia covering me. I feel violent, angry, out of control- snapped in rage with no target- but I must work, holding on despite my uninvited mindfuckery. Time doesn’t move- suddenly I cry in worthlessness but the angry rage dries my tears. RageInMania: I tremble within, shaking off frustrated anger or depression or both. And I can’t stop moving. My inquiring mind bitch mode goes on and on… it drives me crazier- literally- but that whiny voice asking the “how the fucks” I had ignored, finally slows me down. But I wonder if I should race instead? ReasonInManiaI’m learning to play this, a sort of Russian Roulette just without Russian minus the roulette- more like choosing a short term adrenaline rush over a plate of hunger- knowing the rush will lead to the hunger  inevitably. Roll the dice. toss a coin, kill me, no wait, that’s you. But no, eh…(chatter) whatever. PlayInMania: Life’s a videogame and I’m lead characters 1,2,3- it’s all technicolor with surround sound and high def. Energy so raw and limitless, never ceasing to flow. Surreal yet very real sensations that it isn’t me wearing my hands or feet. Heightened senses, visual auditory ecstacy. Part WonderWoman, Part Burlesque Showgirl, All Hypersexual Me.