nightmare

that lasts forever and I can’t wake up. hell freezing over and so am I, lost between scorching hot and painful cold, in part because I don’t know the difference anymore. my heart pumps on overdrive, the blood pounds on my head in a throbbing headache. eyes open wide, scanning my surroundings but for what? hyperawareness fondling my paranoia, coming on my anxious sense of dread- and that’s not enough for this demon to be released. I am here, but I’m too weak to break from captivity. my thoughts race faster than I can ever process… both stupid and useless. they get loud and I’m just past overwhelmed. It’s all noise in my head now. my body is wired and exhausted all at once -what the fuck. I have energy for days but I’m too weak to get up from this couch I’m collapsing on- body and sanity. fabulous, hypersexed and worthless– quite a potent cocktail mix. killer in disguise.

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