a chunk of my life taken without consent – tell me how does it feel?
I was young, smart, pretty, and mostly successful – though never Type A
a long, resistant chain of unfortunate events full of drama – though not royalty
I lied – until the role I played to survive became embedded within
a hypomanic personality that was consistently depressed – so my therapist said
I agreed – although back then it was so mild & gentle, dressed in lace & deceit
an anxious, suicidal, depressed child I was – fallen, no grace whatsoever
I thought that was over but you proved me wrong, not once or twice but tenfold
a fighter not a quitter I am – yet you’ve forced me to flee or freeze while undone
I thought I was beyond life or death, only a mere tragic-comedic existence
a chunk of my life taken without consent – answer my fuckin’ question!
have broken me only to glue me and break into colorful fragments
infected my spontaneity with a potent extract of routine I can’t swallow
are a corrosive that has eaten most of everything, including my courage.
are burning me from far–
my words liquefied
led me to the slaughter – failure once more today
I feel me drown as I’m gone and watch us both – so fun.
anxiety& depression now depersonalization home